"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq.They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida." - Jay Leno
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"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." - David Letterman
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"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda - and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." - Jay Leno
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"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells 'OIL.'" - Jay Leno
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"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded." - Jay Leno
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"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history. First,he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares war." - Jay Leno
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"New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut." - Craig Kilborn
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"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - It's in North Korea." - Jon Stewart
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"Saddam Hussein has told his people that U.S. troops will commit suicide when they get to the gates of Baghdad. That's when you know you have a bad army, when your only hope for victory is that the enemy's troops kill themselves." - Jay Leno
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"As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline." - Jay Leno
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"In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president." - Jay Leno
posted by YY at
1:16:00 AM
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